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Oh boy.

I really wish my email had an unsend feature.

Going back and thinking about the past few years of my like is not unlike torture. I wish I was one of those people that could put the past behind them and keep pushing forward. Me, I feel like every bad decision is a set of reigns strapped to a boulder. I have the will to bite the bit and continue forward, but the weight of my choices has made progress nigh impossible. I talked to a few friends about what I'm struggling with and a couple of them suggested I go back to church and try God.

I don't really know what they mean when they say that.

Try God?

What, me getting baptized will suddenly fix everything? Besides, I've done/said horrible things in my few short years on this planet. If there was a God, he'd want absolutely nothing to do with me, and I wouldn't blame him in the slightest. The reality is simple. I'm a jerk and king douche. Always have been, always will be.

I'm gonna stop with the self-deprecation before this really gets ugly.

we are planning a costa rica trip though, which is wildly awesome.

-fraz.

Avatar heroinbob
10-26-09 06:44
622 #6
who did you email this time?
i don't fully get the god thing either. i totally hate bvu and mom just keeps saying it's satan trying to make me doubt myself. i'm surprised she couldn't hear my eyes rolling over the phone.
most of the time i just want to peel my own skin off anyhow. so, trust me, nobody is that happy in their own skin.
Avatar camabar
10-26-09 08:16
If you say so.
I think what they mean is that being religious (not necessarily Christian, but religious) will help you deal with your problems. Religion has been proven to help you live longer, so who knows, it may help.
Avatar darkavenger
10-28-09 12:29
she thinks it, i say
camabar-- how has religion been proven to help you live longer? i wonder if you're referring to a study done that said people who go to church live longer. but that study had all kinds of flaws, including overlooking the fact that the vast majority of people who go to church are healthy and able to get to the church. if someone is way too sick or debilitated to get to church, they most likely have decreased mortality anyways. so of course healthy people (those able to get out into the community on a regular basis) will live longer than sick people (those who can't get out into the community on a regular basis because of their illness). see what i'm saying? i'm just curious how it would be possible to PROVE that religion helps you live longer.
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