Clearly something is wrong. I'd like to find out what the hell happened.

I suppose that's too much to ask for.

If I did something douchey, I apologize, but I can't recall a thing! Just suddenly we're no longer speaking. Maybe this is just all in my head?

I hate question marks in my life.

-fraz.

Trying so hard to keep from falling apart. When it rains, it really does pour.

Is there such a thing as too much of a catalyst?

Just saying I'm going to make changes isn't enough. I need results.

This girl may very well be the one last piece to make me completely spin off of the planet. This is not good. Not good at all. I just need to talk about this with her in a safe location. I don't wanna blow what (might) still be there.

Enough of this vague crap.

I'm seriously considering getting my ridiculously stupid tattoo. It's awesome.

I'm heading out to go play some soccer.

-fraz.

Fuck you.

Seriously, I mean it.

I hate that I grew up to be just like you.

I hate that I learned how to treat people from watching you.

I want you to know that I think you're the biggest hypocrite I know. I wish you could just take a step back and see what you really are. You're not perfect. In fact, you're far from it. Your sarcasm and all around dickheadishness has kept you and I from ever being the father and son we should be.

Look, I get it. My life is far from perfect. I could be the fucking president and you'd still find something about me to shit on. The worst part is that everything positive in my life you somehow manage to take credit for! Of course Dad, I'm just along for the ride in my own fucking life.

Just in case I don't say it enough tonight, fuck you.

Sorry that the trajectory of my life doesn't reach your impossible standards. I'm not Connor. Sure, he's brilliant. I agree. Too bad I'm not him. And as far as 'black sheep' go, I think the family is getting off light as fuck.

I hate that after how horrible you've made me feel my entire life, I still feel guilty for
hating you.

I want to finish this, but I just can't.

-fraz.

I'm making huge plans.

So excited.

-fraz.

I love watching Jersey Shore.

I swear, this show is better than when I first discovered scrambled porno (formerly the greatest day of my life.)

Who doesn't love watching cokeheads act fucking insane? Admit it, you do.

HOBOLIFE.

-fraz.

...

but I'm still not ready to see it die.

bummer.

-fraz.

Current Song: Silversun Pickups - Substitution

I'll just come on out and say it.

I don't understand why people think Chelsea Handler is funny.

I mean, I understand that I'm not really her target market, but still. At least I can see why some people find shitty comedians funny. With her, I simply don't get it. A lot of my lady friends are enamored of her. One friend in particular could be accurately described as obsessed. She lent me a copy of one of her books and made me promise I'd try to read it.

I just finished an essay/short story whatever you might call it about how she discovered to masturbate.

Okay. One, I'm far too repressed to read about an 8 year old going to freaky masturbation parties. Two, WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH MAKES HER THINK I'D ENJOY SOME WEIRD ASS SHIT LIKE THAT? I'm a man, man! I'm honest to God terrified to open this book back up to see whatever else disgusting shit might be headed my way.

When I suggest a book to someone, I put some thought into it. I really do. I realize that some of the stuff I enjoy isn't really for everyone. Is it too much for me to ask the same from my friends?

Okay, I should just stop complaining about everything.

One more thing though.

Justin's girlfriend didn't recognize bohemian rhapsody (fucking criminal) and then stated that NIckelback was a far greater band than Queen. I almost murdered her.

-fraz.

Buuut, I'm ridiculously excited about this new album.

Also, I've been pretty much listening to stevie wonder constantly. He's a badass dude.

I thought I'd be dreading the end of summer, but I'm really not. If anything, I'm counting down the days. What the hell is wrong with me?

-fraz.

the new arcade fire is pretty much perfect.

hot damn.

in other news, my doubts are starting to fade. I think this is real.

Current Song: The Morning Benders - Stiches.

I had this big drawn out thing written out but then I hated every single word.

I'll keep it simple.

I've got to figure out a way to just completely change everything about myself before my self loathing spirals completely out of control. I just want to be positive and try not to offend every person I meet. We'll see how long this lasts.

Just a few more strings to tie up in that department and then I can start making an honest attempt at this. Jeez, I feel like an alcoholic or something. I'm gonna try to make some amends.

Connor and I have been playing a lot of music together. I love it. We need to find someone who likes playing either trumpet or sax. God damn I love jazz. The little guy is getting really good on the piano, bass and the guitar. I wish I was wired like that. Dude can literally pick up any instrument and 20 minutes later he'll be playing shit by ear. What a lucky asshole!

I've seen inception 3 times now. I wish everyone I knew would go and see it so I could talk about it without ruining shit. Gay moment: I want to marry the costume designer in the movie. I love a well cut suit/tie combo. ugggggggh. I only have one complaint, I hate cillian murphy. Why on earth does Nolan like that dude? He's a terrible actor and he looks part... monster? I can't place it, but every time I see him i just think of a serial killer that collects toenails in labeled jars or something. Meh, I'm weird.

Finally, the picture of the entire avengers crew standing together at the comic con gave me one of the biggest geek boners ever. Christ, sometimes it hurts being me. Bonus: Seeing Ryan Reynolds recite the Green Lantern oath. Mother of God that was so awesome.

-fraz.